ALLO ALLO!
EVENING ALL!
I TIP MY HAT TO YOU SIR!
HOk. So. Blog. Blog.
Well Christmas was a blast! I had my first alcoholic beverage. And it took me an over an hour to get through,and nothing happened. With all the hype the kids at school give grog and its after effects, I expected some dramatic change to take place, like suddenly I'd grow an grow an extra pair of legs with had a mind of their own and kicked everyone as I went past.
But sadly no. Nothing happened and I was left feeling a little let down.. I dunno what kind of experience everyone else is having,but I'm sure as heck not invited to that party!
Hmmm.. I really need a new bra. I'm stuck with this flesh coloured number that I've had for to long and officially has become part of my body..though it sadly looks odd for the fact that the flesh colour of the bra is darker then my actual skin,which is so white and translucent you can actually see the food working its way through my stomach through the skin. I charge the kids $5 to come see how the digestive system works and thats there science reports done. I've become something of a local legend. They think I'm half ghost..
How quaint. I've been wearing a bra for almost 10 years now. Its weird when your 9 and you start growing up,out,diagonal,round and sideways..I felt like Violet Beauregard in Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory when she swells and swells after eating the gum... except I didn't turn purple and I didn't need to be rolled away by oompa loompa's..
But everyone else seemed to remain the same 9 year old shape and didnt look like they'd started each day by taking the shoulder pads out of their mums jackets and sewn them onto the chest area of their school uniform.
By the time everyone had grown chests as big as mine and reached the stage of obvious puberty and entered the room of "being a woman" I'd been sitting in that room having been the first to arrive to that party. I'd read the "WELCOME TO YOUR TEEN YEARS!" banner thousands of times,sampled the mini spring rolls,drank numerous amounts of punch and had a little jig to the "best of 80's" double cd playing. I'd resorted to flicking through the stack of horrible,gossipy teen magazines,licking my thumb and turning the pages, having muttered conversations with myself over the Britney Spears saga,when suddenly I look up and see a few girls come shuffling in nervously and I shout "ABOUT TIME! DID YOU NOT THINK TO LET ME KNOW YOU'D BE LATE WHEN YOU R.S.V.P'D?!"
I'm also driving now.. I've had my license for about..well over a year and I was/kinda am terrified of driving,having convinced myself that my lack of concentration/coordination/road knowledge will eventually lead to a car crash ruining many peoples cars and a very nice shiny, red post box. But after being shoved in the front seat and strapped in, I was forced to drive, and can so far say all cars are in tact,and post boxes need not fear. I'm a steady driver,but when it comes to parking, I fail like a nun trying to flirt. Car parks are my arch foe, and when faced with parking in one of those meticulous boxes marked out by 2 white lines,well I just about lose it. When trying to park,I somehow managed to end up parking on top of that white line, rendering the car parks on either side of me useless...which may or may not have been my evil plan from the beginning as some sort of revenge against the evil car parks of the world.
Also-
I just adore the 1920's and thought I'd share with you some of the magic from this amazing era. My 2 favorite actresses' from the 20's are Clara Bow and Louise Brooks, both women who we're feisty and courageous and who both didn't survive the talkies,and ended up spiraling into oblivion,only to be catapulted to the pillar of immortal because of their amazing works. :D
Clara Bow
Louise Brooks
Well,all that said and done, I'm gonna head off and look for a bowler hat :D
thankyou ever so for reading,and I'll catch you cool cats on the flip flop later!
too ra!
Brookus
