Flamingo Coat: September 2008

"I get by with a little help from my friends,
I'm gonna try with a little help from my friends
I get high with a little help from my friends
Yes I get by with a little help from my friends,
with a little help from my friends"

The Beatles were onto something there. Seems I've learnt alot from the Beatles since I started to listen to them religiously.

The past few weeks have had me thinking about friendship. The thing I've had the hardest time dealing with in this whole moving jazz is missing my Muswellbrook friends. That group of people- Maddie,Eddie,Manda,Lucy,Ben,Ryno, and Kate especially are the most unique,random,caring and funny people on the planet. The universe probably. I love them so much, and we've shared the best years if my life together. I could say we've had the best of times. We've had the worst of times. And I've loved each second of it.

On the other hand too,I've got my Newcastle friends. I love them,they've been nothing but supportive and welcoming,kind and friendly and alot of fun! But I'm constantly reminded of the fact that their not my Muswellbrook chums, and it makes me miss them all even more.I guess this group just doesn't have the same spirit that the Muswellbrook group did,and I was selfish in expecting that they would,and being disappointed when they didn't.. they have their own spirit that is uniquely them.. just not uniquely me.

I've summed it up in this useful analogy :D-

Finding new friends in Newcastle is like buying a new pair of shoes after spending years wearing the same pair of shoes which are now worn out and full of holes,but which you dont want to give up because of the comfortableness of them. When you find this new beaut pair of shoes, their clean and new,ready to be worn in. At first they fit great,but then you start to get blisters, and their always there reminding you that these shoes are literally rubbing you the wrong way, and are a constant reminder of your longing for the well worn familiarity of your old shoes. These new shoes may look good,but they fit so strange. Even after 8 months of wearing them around,their still brand new,and you haven't even made a foot groove yet.

You long for your old shoes, with their scuff marks,worn out and holey soles and familiar foot groove which you find so easy slipping back into and being able to walk tall and proud without the burning blisters.

Sure,the blisters may disappear after a while, but the new shoes are still gunna remain clean and new,because you haven't worn them down the same dusty roads that your old shoes traveled. You didn't wear your new shoes when you had to walk through the tough mud and puddles, and you didn't wear your new shoes when the sun was shining and the grass was long.

All that was done in your old shoes, and they serve as the reminder and souvenir of the journey, and all you saw and did along the way.

I do feel blessed though, having these 2 types of shoes to walk my life in. Each pair of shoes will take me in a different direction,present me with different situations and people. While in my old pair of shoes, I'll be living the good old days, marching to beat created by kindred spirits, in the band of misfits having the most fun in life and laughing into hysteria, throwing our cares to the wind and lending a helping hand.

In my new shoes,I'm presented with a whole new world , a world in which I'm not entirely sure I'm ready to face,and one in which I know I'm going to be walking alone at times, buying lots of new pairs of shoes and adding them to the shoe rack of life. Each pair will tell a new story and remind me of a journey,but I think I'm always going to feel most comfortable in the pair of shoes I used to walk the past 2 years.

The thing I miss most about my friends though, is watching them learn and grow. The thing I enjoyed the most was witnessing my friends overcome things, learning new things, achieving new things and experiencing things together. To think that I've missed out on 10 months of them growing as people, forming new relationships and "in" jokes that I'll never be a part of or never get to witness happening makes me so sad, because these little things are life's miracles, like watching a baby learn and grow. Towards the end of the year I made mental notes about my friends so that after I was gone,I'd still have the mental image of the group.

I can still remember the way Maddies eyes would go really wide and her mouth would pucker when she was being sarcastic or reenacting something,or the way she'd always arrange her fingers to play the chords of the guitar that were playing in the song. The way when Eddie laughed, you'd be able to see the dimples in her cheeks, and her eyes would smile along with her mouth.Eddie always had the most interesting lunches and running style...similar to what a gay penguin would like when it ran haha I loved it.One thing I'll never forget is Lucy's MASSIVE happy smile,which was like watching the sun break over the ocean,and the way she'd have a little squeal in her laughter when she really got the giggles. I'll also never forget the awe I'd feel watching her create a masterpiece in art.Who could ever forget the way Manda is always looking out for everyone else. Each morning you'd be greeted by a great big hug from Manda,the occasional bum tap haha and dashing smile that always reassured you she'd always be there to help you. Ben,well Ben had a knack for taking the most mundane things and making them hilarious. Like the hole in my bag. Enough said. Ben was like the brother in the group,he was always mucking around and pushing everyones limits,but during a D&M at his birthday party last year, I learnt a whole new depth to him and gained alot more respect for him. Ryno was like the mystery box of the group,you never knew what he'd say next,but when he did say it, it came out with a force that knocked everyone off their feet with laughter. Last year I was also lucky enough to witness Ryan coming out of his shell and blossoming into the wonderful,funny and ever interesting person that he is. Shelby was the megaphone of the group who had the loudest voice and the biggest heart. I never failed to notice her willingness to help others and that she never expected anything in return. I've grown to respect her. Then theres little miss Kate! Kate always reminded me of a muppet with her big eyes and kooky personality. She always spoke in the softest of tones,except for when she completely went all out and exploded with a joke or a laugh,and was always polite.

These people made my life what it was, and what it is.

I got by with a little help from my friends.

I tried with a little help from my friends.

I got high(on life) with a little help from my friends.

Yes, I get by with a little help from my friends.

Ryans Birthday